melissa

So I pretty much have been wanting to read latley but cant afford the new harry potter book so what do i do. I read this entire LJ. I am not saying I am awesome or any thing. but i really miss the good old days. Lindsay Wallin. Bowling. thrifting. wrestling. strawberry malts. So I am going to do my best to get this current melissa to do old things, but that might just make me super depressed because ill realize I am old.

My bday is 9/9 and i want to have a sweet party. but i think I might go to my home town instead.
I have been seeing a boy and I am not too sure how I feel about it.
For one I just dont know if I am ready to be serious, but i love his company and he makes me laugh. but who doesnt? I just dont know what to think about it all. I have an idea of some things i want out of a relationship and they are all compleatley pointless things. Its not even reasonable or responsible or serious things. Like most girls my age want a guy with money or a job and a nice car and what not. And maybe i should be looing for something that will be like that but lets face it thats just not my style.
I mean the people who i cared about the most were unemployed, had no car, no money, smoked pot, bla bla, but they didnt bore me. I need people in my life who will drag me out of my house and make me have good time. I mean im not all about being home i just never know what to do.


Im pretty sure this is my midlife crisis and im loving it.

Seriously I know what I want because i have had a mix of it before, but im not sure what i want is even a realistic option.
i might get some tats soon, because what better than getting something permanate when your mind is racing and you cant make up your mind and dont know what you want from life

when i grow up and have a family of my own....IM LIVIN ALONE IM LIVIN ALONE


thinking about running away... whos in?
ps. starting a fund for the trip any and all donations can be left at my door step, or in my mail box.

see you in december

time is going to fast, but nothing is happening.

today I am sleepy
i dont feel good at all
i want to cuddle

I passed my 1st part of boards.
I take the 2nd part next friday.
Everything is going good.
I'm freezing.

Yesterday was my last day.
Today I dont have to do anything if i dont want to and thats good because i have diareahhhh...how the fuck do you spell that.

I havn't posted any real info or stories on here in a long time and right now I have the time so here I go.

I had graduation last night. Im not actually done with school until aug 3rd I think. I won an award for make up, so pretty much im awesome. I can't beleive this year is over I can honestly say this was the worst year for stress because if I weren't in the business of hair I probabley would have pulled all mine out. But thats almost over. I made my parents proud and that likea 1st or 2nd time in my life.

This year was a weird year for realtionships. I kinda had the same-ol routine thing goingon for 6 months and I knew it wasn'tgoing anywhere after 3 months but I was stupid and tried to work something out that just didnt feel right. I had some people from the past tell me they loveme then i punched them. I meet a boy named Bikinni and we were going to get married but he was a little too "me"for me as in fucking insane.
Im moving out of east town and in with joel in Aug. Yeah. big step. it will be ok.


I miss having the summer "off" because this year it doesnt even sem like summer. i guess summer dissapears as you get older and have more responsibility .


I really miss all my friends who left for the summer,or just the ones i havn't seen.

H-bomb hurry up and get you ass in GR so we can drink beers on the porch and talk real loud and be obnoxious.

Yeah not too new but damn i actually did my hair and make up, shit...
i look like a brat!

for thoes of you who red this still here is anupdate in my little life:
-i killed my computer with a glass of water
+after like 2 weeks i fixed it
+ i love my friends a on
-i lost a black hoodiewitha devo button on it that joel gave me
+joel is my boyfriend
-a lot of people are kinda pissed because i have a boyfriend
+im doing good in school
+my mom has been happy
+miller light everynight
+honesty
+feeling like high school
+))<>(( forever
+hot dates
+i colored my hair
- its black and red and scene as fuck
+&- i have no nipple rings anymore
-i am still poor as fuck
-i am freezing and hungry
+i see joel alot even though i am at school 9-5 and he works till 10 pm, basically i dont sleep
-no sleep
+ my friends are the best ever

( DURTY, but funny )

1) My uncle once: adoptedme
2) Never in my life: will i touch myself dirty.
3) When I was five: i was in foster homes.
4) High School was: not thaat bad, i vould have made it better. i miss hot lunch.
5) I will never forget: that im adopted.
6) I once met: a girl named becky and her roomates and they make me happy.
7) There's this person I know who: had maggots in her hroat because her boyfriend was having sex with dead people.
8) Once, at a bar: i tore a tampon macheine off the wall.
9) By noon I'm usually: doing hair.
10) Last night: tried to sleep but couldn't.woke up at 7 fter sleepon 4 hours.
11) If I only had: a gazillion dollars, or at least a job.
12) Next time I go to church/temple: will be someones wedding.
13) Terri Schiavo:meh
14) I like: hair
15) When I turn my head left, i see: tv
16) When I turn my head right, I see: window
18) In grade school: i was skinny and awkward
19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: backstage
20) By this time next year: I'll probably be a millionare.
21) A better name for me would be: chuck
22) I have a hard time understanding:my own vagina
23) If I ever go back to school I'll: touch boys under the table.
24) You know I like you if: i look at you when we have sex.
25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: no one.
26) I hope that:i never loose my hair.
27) Take my advice: dont do it.
28) My ideal breakfast is: cigs, eggs bacon, toast.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: im an indian too
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: sleeping a lot.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: dance
32) Why won't anyone: beleive me
33) If you spend the night at my house:you would be uncomfortable. or sleeping on cucumbers.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: if i had to poop
35) The world could do without: jerks
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: swim in poop.
37) My favorite blonde is: white
38) Paper clips are more useful than: dirty fingernails
40) And by the way: i am awesome.
41) The last time I was drunk, I: waswearing my wutang shirt.
42) My grandmother always: disliked me

Luda
I'm bout to throw some game, they both wantin' the same
Cupids the one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some LINES, cause each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
(Repeat)

Luda
They want it nice and slow, kiss them from head to toe
Relax and let it go, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
They want it now and fast, grabbin and smackin ass
You gotta make it last, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
Together holdin hands, you out there spendin grands
And makin family plans, say it (Girl) Make love to me
Don't have to straighten facts, don't want no strings attached
Juzt scratches on yo' back, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
Ex's aint actin right, and you so glad to fight
Dinners by candlelight, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
She got a nigga whipped, down to your fingertips
Tryin that freaky shit, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
Turn on some Baby Face, just for your lady's sake
You call her baby cakes, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Know how to mack a broad, she's on your sack and ballz
You call her jabber jaws, wut? (Girl) Fuck me

Luda
Im bout to throw some game, they both wantin the same
Cupids the one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some light, cause each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) Fuck me
(Repeat)

Luda
You bout to buy a ring, she needs the finer thangs
Gucci designer frames, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Purchase a nasty flick, wrap up and tie her quick
Know how to drive a stick, wut? (Girl) fuck me
You both unite as one, you tha moon and she's your sun
Your heart's a beatin drum, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
You better not have came, she wanna feel the pain
Then hear her scream ya name, wut? (Girl) fuck me
Follow this dictionary, you both some visionaries
And do it missionary, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
I hear him call tha wild, and do it all the while
Doggy and froggy style, wut? (Girl) fuck me
You in-between the sheets, lickin and eatin sweets
And what you find you keep, say it (Girl) Make love to me
You do it standin up, orgasims hand 'em up
Y'all just don't give a fuck, wut? (Girl) fuck me

Luda
Im bout to throw some game, they both wantin the same
Cupids the one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some light, cause each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) fuck me
(Repeat)

Luda
You wanna tell THE world, cause she's your favorite girl
Your diamond and your pearl, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Nobody has to know, just keep it on the low
And meet 'em right at fo', wut? (Girl) fuck me
Nothin but fights and fussin, plus there's a lot of cussin
Just grab a hold of somethin, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Y'all do that bad stuff, she like it rammed up
Ropez and handcuffs, wut? (Girl) fuck me

Luda
Im bout to throw some game, they both wantin the same
Cupids the one to blame, say it, (Girl) Make love to me
Im bout to shed some light, cause each and every night
You've got to do it right, wut? (Girl) fuck me
(Repeat)

yep. this is an actual entry.
My sister called and said shes having a baby, wow. 22, married, new house, baby all in one year.dang.

its just weird to see her having every thing in order at 22.
i mean thats not where i want to be.
but i would at least like to know that im doing ok.
because latley it seems that pretty much everything is a little fucked up in my life. not alot, not enough to complain about, but enough to feel unorganized and out of place all the time. everyday. i hope that in may when i move in with becky things will seem to make a little bit more sence.. maybe?
it seems im always just waiting for something new and then it happens and i still feel odd. but maybe its just this year, as in i am in school 9-5 m-f and i just have a hard time doing that 40 hours with no pay.. im just not sure.
i like to do this in december. to look at myself and its always "what the fuck is going on here?"
well in july when i graduate i will have to join the grown up world, get a real job, and be an adult, lets hope i enjoy it....fuck!

dear santa
i want
-my rent paid
-an arch card from mcdonalds, because while their food is terrible,i eat there all the time. mcchickens dude
-a fancy dress with tights, and shoes, and stuff to match
-to be done with school
- to meet a ton of new people
-to be with my family on xmas
-to be with becky on new years
-some money to pay for things
-my hair to be long again
-a JOB ( i might be working at meijer deli again, downside, i have to work on xmas eve:( ..)
- julie to sit on my lap (hahaha)
- to be able to dance real good like julie
-my boobs to look hot
-my ass too
-huge guns
-bill murray and the wu tang (odb alive)
- a new bed
-to be living with the biz already
-summertime
-puppies and bunnies to cuddle all over me
-new music
-sex sex sex
- to be able to fight
-not to be sick
-make up
-high heels
-a nice jacket
-candy
-steak
-a snail

way to leave me all alone my friends who are going home on xmas break:(
what will i do?

leave ideas or your out!

What Will ok_kido Get ?

Xmas pressie predictor
Big wooly jumper knitted by	iwillburnalone
Pair of Socks from	grooverobot
Bottle of Whiskey from	ladylux
Cd from	treez4beez
Something Cuddly from	youfuckinloveit
Something Intoxicating from	goodbyemailbox
Something Silly from	snewch
Something Funny from	crotchel
Lump of coal from	_avenge
Something Pretty from	winniecoop
Something Shiny from	samtaroesque
Something Naughty from	longtimenogrow
Something Smelly from	ilnipote
Something Breakable from	lastof_thelast
Something Useful from	xtartx
Something not useful from	ohhhsovain
The Black and Decker Tool Kit from	robotic_voice
Livejournal account from	ilikecatz
The Make-up Bag from	poisongirl5
Stack of DVDs from	lisa_li
Something Geeky from	scottyrobotty

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yep that seems right

+not being drunk, i know, melissa not drunk!?and its a +
+seeing everyone have an awesome time
+anytime Ian dances
+julie's hot ASS
- attic. little shoes.
-harry giving me mohawk and my body rejecting it
+becky and the crew
-lost on the way home (haah)
+/- getting home at 6am
+ dancing with julie and vince and michelle
+ being sober enough to meet and remember people
-wake up feeling like hell even though i didn't drink

tori amos-97 bonnie and clyde.....fucked up, seriously,pretty fucked up sounding...yeah ... download this if you dont have it,you have to hear it.its real weird... in the im kind uncomfortable way...